He learned to walk while I was away...
If you are around me over the next couple days, consider yourself warned. My emotions are all amok. Next week - for four long nights - I will be away from my little peanut. I have not spent a single night away from my nearly one-year-old since he was conceived, and now I'm going for four. What was I thinking?
Well, to be fair, I was thinking this: you miss one of your very best friends, you haven't had extended quality alone time with your husband in ages, you love to travel, your son has fabulous grandparents and a great aunt who would love some babysitting time, and it's probably good for him too. Okay, that was a moment of rational thinking, let's now re-board crazy train.
My husband texted me a picture of our son last week. He was standing with a little bit of support, but he looked like he was ready to start moving. I smiled at the photo, and then I immediately texted my husband, "OMG, what if he learns to walk while I am away?" Don't mind the odd verb tense. I had a mental soundtrack of "Cats in the Cradle" playing. You know the song. The one that is an ode to preoccupied, bad parents. And now my baby could take his first steps when I'm six states away!
I think my husband has already noticed my stress. He asked me this weekend why I've seemed so tense. You see, he is fully capable of only seeing things half full. He thinks this trip is nothing but a great thing. He is the most positive person on the planet. I, however, am fully capable of being a big ball of worry.
And yet I'm reminded of a little advice I gave a friend recently. She returned to work after baby and seemed a little overwhelmed with balancing everything. I told her I often try to nap in the morning if the baby takes a nap. I feel guilty about it because it cuts into my time with him, however, I realize that a rested mama can be a better mama - I know this isn't always possible! But the same line of thought is applicable here. A refreshed mama who continues to add non-baby experiences is probably going to be a better parent. If I continue to pursue things I love, I'll be able to meet our child with a better attitude.
Not to mention, I should probably get over myself. I mean, I get to take a cool trip.
I am a realist though, and I know my mommy guilt rarely fully disappears. I just need to take a deep breath and push it down a bit.
Will I succeed? I hope so. And I plan to keep repeating my husband's favorite quote:
Even if he learns to walk while I'm away, I know his grandmas and great aunt will be great cheerleaders for his first steps. (But waiting a few extra days wouldn't hurt either - a mom can hope, right?)
Well, to be fair, I was thinking this: you miss one of your very best friends, you haven't had extended quality alone time with your husband in ages, you love to travel, your son has fabulous grandparents and a great aunt who would love some babysitting time, and it's probably good for him too. Okay, that was a moment of rational thinking, let's now re-board crazy train.
My husband texted me a picture of our son last week. He was standing with a little bit of support, but he looked like he was ready to start moving. I smiled at the photo, and then I immediately texted my husband, "OMG, what if he learns to walk while I am away?" Don't mind the odd verb tense. I had a mental soundtrack of "Cats in the Cradle" playing. You know the song. The one that is an ode to preoccupied, bad parents. And now my baby could take his first steps when I'm six states away!
I think my husband has already noticed my stress. He asked me this weekend why I've seemed so tense. You see, he is fully capable of only seeing things half full. He thinks this trip is nothing but a great thing. He is the most positive person on the planet. I, however, am fully capable of being a big ball of worry.
And yet I'm reminded of a little advice I gave a friend recently. She returned to work after baby and seemed a little overwhelmed with balancing everything. I told her I often try to nap in the morning if the baby takes a nap. I feel guilty about it because it cuts into my time with him, however, I realize that a rested mama can be a better mama - I know this isn't always possible! But the same line of thought is applicable here. A refreshed mama who continues to add non-baby experiences is probably going to be a better parent. If I continue to pursue things I love, I'll be able to meet our child with a better attitude.
Not to mention, I should probably get over myself. I mean, I get to take a cool trip.
I am a realist though, and I know my mommy guilt rarely fully disappears. I just need to take a deep breath and push it down a bit.
Will I succeed? I hope so. And I plan to keep repeating my husband's favorite quote:
Even if he learns to walk while I'm away, I know his grandmas and great aunt will be great cheerleaders for his first steps. (But waiting a few extra days wouldn't hurt either - a mom can hope, right?)
