You are enough. No, correction. I am enough.
I recently started making exercise a priority. I realize that may sound like a convoluted way to say, "I started working out again," but it's true, I've made it a priority. When I was breastfeeding and getting no sleep, I decided something had to give. I could get even less sleep (if mathematically possible) and workout, or spend less time with my kids and workout, or not workout. I chose the latter for awhile, but now I'm back at it.
I've been taking different classes that interest me. I am, by no means, an experienced yogi, but I really enjoy some yoga classes. Recently during our practice (it's fun to pretend like I know what I'm talking about) we were asked to come up with a phrase, a mantra (it probably has a different word I don't know) to focus on at the beginning. My brain said, "you are enough."
I guess I've been doubting that a little.
You see, sometimes I feel like I'm not enough of a mom. Sometimes I feel like I give too much to work. And then sometimes I feel the very opposite. And then I feel like I'm slacking as a wife, a friend, a daughter, an aunt and fifty other roles I play in this production called My Life. But as much as I sound like I'm drowning, I actually have felt much more grounded lately. I'm starting to take ownership of what I do and don't want. I'm beginning to realize it's okay to sometimes place more attention in one area instead of another. And that's why one thing really struck me about my statement. "You." Why did I think "you are enough" instead of "I am enough." I know some of you may think I'm over-analyzing my word choice, but I find it telling.
As much as I am starting to come to grips with how I'm handling my life, I still worry that I'm doing it wrong in the eyes of others. Not consciously but deep down. I need to hear "you are enough." Screw that. Just like it was my choice to make exercise a priority, it is my choice to listen to myself and believe myself.
Breathe in. *I* am enough. Breathe out. I am enough. Namaste.
I've been taking different classes that interest me. I am, by no means, an experienced yogi, but I really enjoy some yoga classes. Recently during our practice (it's fun to pretend like I know what I'm talking about) we were asked to come up with a phrase, a mantra (it probably has a different word I don't know) to focus on at the beginning. My brain said, "you are enough."
I guess I've been doubting that a little.
You see, sometimes I feel like I'm not enough of a mom. Sometimes I feel like I give too much to work. And then sometimes I feel the very opposite. And then I feel like I'm slacking as a wife, a friend, a daughter, an aunt and fifty other roles I play in this production called My Life. But as much as I sound like I'm drowning, I actually have felt much more grounded lately. I'm starting to take ownership of what I do and don't want. I'm beginning to realize it's okay to sometimes place more attention in one area instead of another. And that's why one thing really struck me about my statement. "You." Why did I think "you are enough" instead of "I am enough." I know some of you may think I'm over-analyzing my word choice, but I find it telling.
As much as I am starting to come to grips with how I'm handling my life, I still worry that I'm doing it wrong in the eyes of others. Not consciously but deep down. I need to hear "you are enough." Screw that. Just like it was my choice to make exercise a priority, it is my choice to listen to myself and believe myself.
Breathe in. *I* am enough. Breathe out. I am enough. Namaste.
