You don't always need to drive through the baby fog

I was just reading a Facebook post that went viral. A woman talked about all the demands she was expected to meet as a working mom. I read it and said, "yep, I can fully relate to not understanding how I could possibly work full time, parent in a way I wanted to, be a good wife, cultivate friendships, work out, keep up the home, etc. etc. etc." I've written about the topic in the past more than once.


But this time, when I read her post, I both related to and felt separated from it. Perhaps, I've just finally successfully regained the perspective I had thought I'd lost forever. That life should be enjoyed otherwise what's the point. Or--and I think this is more accurate--I'm no longer in the fog.

I do not know what it's like to parent a tween or a teen or even an elementary school kid. I am fully aware it brings its own challenges and struggles. So please do not read this to mean that I think I'm in the clear when it comes to parenting. But I'm finding my way out of the baby fog.

What is the baby fog? The explosive exhaustion that culminates from lack of sleep, fear, confusion and this tug-of-war with your body in the middle. My baby gets my body and boobs for a while, my work gets my brain and my time, my other child and spouse get my organization and planning and I'm not sure what I get besides this nagging feeling that I'm not doing any of it very well.

It's the baby fog. And I don't entirely know if I'm through it, in a clearing, nearing the edge or just choosing not to drive, but right now, I'm feeling good.

I work in TV and do you realize that when it's foggy, we advise people to stay off the roads? "Don't drive if you don't have to," we say because that's what the National Weather Service says.

As moms, I think we should take that advice. Sure, sometimes we have to drive through the baby fog, but when we can just sit still in it, we should.

And when we have to go, here's what the National Weather Service says:


Fog advice: Slow down and allow extra time to reach your destination.
Baby fog advice: Slow down and savor this time. Also, give yourself extra time so you don't always feel rushed. Let's say it used to take you a half hour to get out the door. If you have an infant, you're probably gonna need to triple that time.


Fog advice: Make your vehicle visible to others both ahead of you and behind you by using your low-beam headlights since this means your taillights will also be on. Use fog lights if you have them.
Baby fog advice: It's okay to flash your lights and tell your mom friends, your family, your work friends, your social media, hey, I'm in a fog, but I'm here, please see me!


Fog advice: Leave plenty of distance between you and the vehicle in front of you to account for sudden stops or changes in the traffic pattern.
Baby fog advice: Leave some distance between yourself and the image you have of other moms (especially the ones you only see on social media). If you try to get too close to their version of parenting, you'll probably just crash when you realize you can't be someone else, especially when you're only seeing an edited version of that person.


Fog advice: To ensure you are staying in the proper lane, follow the lines on the road with your eyes.
Baby fog advice: Just stay true to yourself. You know who you are. You know what's most important. Focus on those things.


Fog advice: In extremely dense fog where visibility is near zero, the best course of action is to first turn on your hazard lights, then simply pull into a safe location such as a parking lot of a local business and stop.
Baby fog advice: Sometimes you gotta just sit at home, let the laundry pile up and take a nap, read a book or watch your favorite show. There's no shame in that. I guarantee the road will still be there when you wake up. And hopefully, you'll be refreshed to take it in a bit better.

I promise mama, the fog doesn't last forever, and sometimes it's nice to tell yourself, don't drive, don't try to do it all, just do what you can to manage while still enjoying the ride.