Learning from my littles: the art of distraction
I am an analytical person. When your dad was a psychologist and your mom was a social worker, you learn to live in your own head. As a parent, I want to teach my children to think things through, to weigh pros and cons, to process instead of react--but guess what--sometimes toddlers and preschoolers are bad at that. Like really, really bad.
I've learned that I often present too many choices or give them saying power when they don't need to have it. I'm working on it.
I've also learned the art of distraction.
I hate to say it because it goes against how I see the beautifully-complex-thinking human, but sometimes we're like those dogs in the movie "Up." Sometimes we're just one squirrel sighting or squirrel reference away from losing focus of what's right in front of us. It's true of all of us, and it's often not a bad thing.
While I've learned to occasionally embrace it while dealing with my youngest who can go from zero to level 10 quite easily, I've also learned that sometimes I need the art of distraction for myself.
It's funny, but parenting teaches us a whole lot about human nature. I realize that's incredibly obvious and therefore lacking in profoundness, but I find it life-altering when I turn it onto myself.
Let me explain. Emme is notoriously horrible when it comes to leaving Jack's school at pickup time (drop-off ain't a dream either, folks). No matter how long we talk about it ahead of time, no matter how often she seems to understand the concept that we need to stay on track, she sees some of their toys and she needs to have them. She sees that play phone, looks at me, grabs that phone and says with utter urgency, "I gotta call my kids!" I mean, it sounds like there's a real emergency happening. But then I remember she has no children, and we're about to subject the classroom to a toddler meltdown....again. She got distracted. That distraction worked against us. Often the only way to get her back on track is a new distraction. Sure, I try reasoning and explaining but sometimes she just needs to be reminded to get Jack's backpack in the hallway.
During our family photos, our incredible photographer was dealing with a sick and tired toddler, but she still got some great snaps by inviting Emme to do something. Instead of telling a screaming child to smile, she told her to run. (Photo cred to Cami Thompson Photography)
Listen, I haven't excelled in the art of dealing with toddler tantrums, so I'm not offering parenting advice, but I am offering some advice I've found helpful for dealing with my own life.
Sometimes it's okay to find the distraction.
I'm not saying, don't deal with your problems. I'm saying, don't get stuck in them. Don't convince yourself you're thinking through them when really you're just moping about them. I've done it too often, and I don't recommend it.
Next time you're incredibly angry at your husband or frustrated with your co-worker or disappointed in yourself, figure out your role and how you can be better next time, tell them your concerns if you think it'll be helpful, and then...squirrel...move on.
I've learned that I often present too many choices or give them saying power when they don't need to have it. I'm working on it.
I've also learned the art of distraction.
I hate to say it because it goes against how I see the beautifully-complex-thinking human, but sometimes we're like those dogs in the movie "Up." Sometimes we're just one squirrel sighting or squirrel reference away from losing focus of what's right in front of us. It's true of all of us, and it's often not a bad thing.
While I've learned to occasionally embrace it while dealing with my youngest who can go from zero to level 10 quite easily, I've also learned that sometimes I need the art of distraction for myself.
It's funny, but parenting teaches us a whole lot about human nature. I realize that's incredibly obvious and therefore lacking in profoundness, but I find it life-altering when I turn it onto myself.
Let me explain. Emme is notoriously horrible when it comes to leaving Jack's school at pickup time (drop-off ain't a dream either, folks). No matter how long we talk about it ahead of time, no matter how often she seems to understand the concept that we need to stay on track, she sees some of their toys and she needs to have them. She sees that play phone, looks at me, grabs that phone and says with utter urgency, "I gotta call my kids!" I mean, it sounds like there's a real emergency happening. But then I remember she has no children, and we're about to subject the classroom to a toddler meltdown....again. She got distracted. That distraction worked against us. Often the only way to get her back on track is a new distraction. Sure, I try reasoning and explaining but sometimes she just needs to be reminded to get Jack's backpack in the hallway.
During our family photos, our incredible photographer was dealing with a sick and tired toddler, but she still got some great snaps by inviting Emme to do something. Instead of telling a screaming child to smile, she told her to run. (Photo cred to Cami Thompson Photography)
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| Cami Thompson Photography |
Sometimes it's okay to find the distraction.
I'm not saying, don't deal with your problems. I'm saying, don't get stuck in them. Don't convince yourself you're thinking through them when really you're just moping about them. I've done it too often, and I don't recommend it.
Next time you're incredibly angry at your husband or frustrated with your co-worker or disappointed in yourself, figure out your role and how you can be better next time, tell them your concerns if you think it'll be helpful, and then...squirrel...move on.
