What will they see when they close their eyes tonight...
An image has been seared in my mind for 19 years. Many images. I was a senior in high school watching students my age, hands raised over their heads. Some walked. Many ran. One dove out a window. I watched the coverage on my television about a thousand miles away. I remember my mom coming into the room as I was using AOL instant messenger to talk to my college boyfriend about the crazy day in Littleton, Colorado. My mom looked sad. That's not the right word. She looked pained. She hugged me a little tighter than normal.
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Today, I watched those images once again. I've seen them since, but today they seemed nearly identical. My point of view, though, had changed. They were no longer students my age but students who I imagined could be my children. We are in the next generation and this one doesn't have fewer school shootings. It has more.
One student gave an interview in which she said she had to step over bodies. I cannot imagine what she will see when she closes her eyes to go to sleep tonight. Some students will likely see their best friend, their classmate, perhaps even their crush on this Valentine's Day who will not be back at school when classes resume or any day thereafter.
The first responders who went into a school and instead of hearing laughter and learning likely heard screams and sobs and that doesn't even begin to describe what they saw and what they selflessly did for others. What images are forever in their memories?
Tonight, parents will try to close their eyes. Some will not be able to because their beloved was ripped from their future reality. Other parents will say a prayer on this Ash Wednesday because their child survived and then remember others did not.
Tonight, so many of us will close our eyes and see images of children running from hallways of horror. These visions are not time-stamped with a date of 4/20/99 or 2/14/18 but with the frightening knowledge that they could be any day.
