When trying is tiring

You spend a good chunk of your life being scared out of your mind that if you look at a boy wrong YOU COULD GET PREGNANT.

Then you want to get pregnant and realize, it's not that easy. If you're under the age of 20 please do not read this blog. I would like you to still believe that it is crazy easy and then be petrified about that fact.

I realize for some couples, it IS a cinch. They decide, hey, let's have kids, then they go to bed, wake up and presto, new life is growing inside of them. (I *may* have skipped a step). Not for some of us older folks though.

And I know I shouldn't complain because in actuality we had it pretty easy. I've had one chemical pregnancy or possibly a false positive test (by the time I got the blood test my hCG levels were at 0). It was sad, disappointing, confusing, frustrating, and a bunch of other emotions. Still, I do not pretend to know what it's like to go through the pain of failed pregnancies and pregnancy attempts. Every month that passes feels like a long time, but I know people spend many, many months, even years and a lot of money and tears on the process. My thoughts are with each and every one of you.

That said, I still find it all stressful. So many questions circulating in my head:

1) Why are there so many things to pee on? Ovulation kits, pregnancy tests. Can I get an amen from the women who wish they could swab their tongue and be on their way instead of peeing on a stick?

2) How many apps does one person need? I have downloaded several. I don't know why I now consider it normal to write down every time we do the deed, but mark it down I do. I am a tracking machine. There is a science to it, dang nabbit, and I will figure it out and ace this test.

3) When can I test? Or should I wait. wait. wait. some more. I think pregnancy test companies should have to stop trying to compete in terms of when you could get a positive. 3 days before a missed period. 6 days. I can't keep track. And it just makes me feel compelled to pee on more sticks. I have marked my territory on far too many things.

4) Why is there soooo much information online? Here's the thing. I am a news reporter. I believe knowledge is power. But at some point I feel like we may have gotten a little too accustomed to knowing everything now. I have googled about two dozen odd observations about my health followed by "early pregnancy symptom" over the years. And guess what, I can inevitably find someone who experienced that same thing and got pregnant. This does not help me and just cuts into my sleep time.

5) Do guys realize what we do? I should probably be honest with myself and recognize that most women probably aren't as crazy as I am either. But I am certain men aren't this wound up over the topic.

Good thing I have a husband who embraces my crazy and is not turned off by it. Because...well...turning him off probably wouldn't help the process very much.

(NOTE: I obviously wrote this before becoming pregnant with our second child!)